our new chapter has begun

this week has been speant loading/unloading a vehicle, driving, moving furniture, cleaning, and enjoying some time with old friends. our new chapter has finally begun.

i cannot wait to have all of our stuff moved and 'set up' - for us to be settled and officially starting our new life chapter. i know my son feels the same way - he is so excited he can barely keep himself contained ;o)

moving has always been something (that while i hate the process lol), i love. i thank my father for moving us wround a lot growing up for the fact i can now embrace and enjoy moving/new places. my brother is the opposite of myself though and stays in one place and doesn't move. myself... LOVE a new journey - even when i was painfully shy i looked forward to it. i have now realized it was because i was so unhappy that i thought by changing local i could make myself happy. not so. one must learn how to make self happy - local cannot do that for you on its own. hence why my excitement (this time around) is not due to thinking this will be the cure to my bouts of depression, my excitement is over a new chapter for my son and i. leaving our past behind and starting out 'fresh'. striking out on our own, working as a team, and living in the one place that feels like 'home' to both of us... the place we never want to leave.

i think this 'primer' (my love of moving) is why other major changes are a little easier for me to embrace then someone who does not enjoy new places as i do. but while i can cope with some life change there are others (esp those matters of the heart) that are much more difficult for me to take in with open arms. finding acceptance is so very important in these situations... hard, but key. daily work (going through the acnowledgement process, trying to be non-judgmental, mindful, forgiving...), combined with taking care of yourself mentally and physically is what will bring you to a place of acceptance and allow you to move forward with life. no matter how still we are, life still keeps on going. dont let life pass you by simply because you cannot find acceptance to move forward ~ i beg of you. i too have done this and am so much happier for the daily work i put in to actually live life rather than letting time fly right on by. again, not easy but so very worth it.
deep breaths & baby steps to success :o)

i had an iep meeting for my son today... his focus seems to be doing 'better' and then something happens and... well his 'test charts' look like the peaks and vallies of the rocky mountains - poor kiddo.
so i want to have his vitamin levels checked, and i think we will start up again with mindfulness & breathing, and we need to get this move done so he can have more consistency. right now he has me trying to parent, my parenst trying to parent, plus his time with his paternal family - i truly believe us being on our own and just having me to parent (since we will no longer be living with my parents), will make a difference. i also think he needs to start his own therapy - with someone who can help my son figure out how he learns, what tools are most effective for him, so on and so forth. battling dyslexia and adhd is not fun for him but i know he can win the battle for he is very smart, strong, and in my opinion all-around amazing - we just need to figure out what is most 'effective' for him. not all kids learn the same way, and especially not my kiddo.
big thing this momma may need to accept is the fact her kiddo may need some rx help... but i will fight that until we try every all natural option we can. psych meds and little brains scare me.

so we are moving. kiddo has his new iep for next year. i am looking for more work and have started a new personal journey with brene brown's book, gifts of imperfection (you can follow the journey at my other blog, a sad soul can kill you quicker than a germ).
definitely could use some creative therapy... cooking, art... maybe this weekend.
monday i have a prenting class that i have procrastinated on - must do for the never ending court case with my sons father over parenting time/etc. what is amusing is watching the catty emails go back and forth between our laywers lol thankfully my lawyer does not charge me for these lol
i keep focusing on the postives... this new chapter... and i am still working on letting go of my ex. no matter how much i want to be done with it my heart and mind are not ready. why is it so hard to let go of someone who hurt me so so 'badly'? you would think after being abused, used, manipulated, lied to and cheated on i would be able to walk away no problem - but no - its like a giving up a freaking addiction :oP
oh well nothing i can do but keep going through the motions and do daily work on letting go :o)
and i just realized this entry has been pretty 'deep' - promise once my life calms down this blog will lighten up a bit ;o) actually what i promise is to write openly and honestly with you so depending on what is going on in my life entries may be light/fun, while others may be deep/thought provoking. that i can promise you :o)

with that i will end here - so much to do today with having been moving all week and not at my desk.
to all of you,
live, laugh, love :o)


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