'making' a home, hikes, and hanging in there

been almost a week since my last entry... oh how times flies ;o)
my sons 2nd grade school year has ended - he enjoyed the last 2 days more so then the whole year i believe ... lol
we went for his first summit county hike and complained the whole way <haha> ...he is a hike for reward type of guy - no wildlife, no 'sights', no adventure and he is 'no happy' lol lesson learned and from now on we will go where i know there is reward. (and old dog can learn new tricks)
i dropped my son with his paternal family friday evening and then headed home... already feeling anxious over spending time alone in our new home i decided that i was going to keep busy until ready to go to bed and then would do the same thing the next day. while unpacking that night i became highly emotional and had a good cry - same reason as last post, so much of what i am unpacking brings memories back that i have not addressed or grieved. this move is quite the emotional one but much needed. the motions must be gone through for recovery, no matter how pathetic anyone feels i am. a friend (who i felt had earned the right to hear my story, check out our sad soul blog for explanation) told me i have a very big heart (in her opinion too big), and due to this i land up more heart broken and will probably never really 'get over this', she then told me to cry and feel to heal - hearing these words made me feel better as i felt less judged. these words helped me to not judge myself, something i had not even realized until that moment that i had been doing. after this i was able to take a few deep breaths and keep on keepin' on. it is amazing what a little compassion can do - and not sympathy, compassion. i am truly thankful for this friend.
so i moved one from this with a good nights sleep and a lovely morning hike with a wonderful friend. i am really enjoying getting back to starting my days with a hike - the last i was able to do this was the summer i found out i was pregnant. the things i forget that i appreciate and know make me happy - need to make a list so i never forget again.
so the day started with a wonderful hike with beautiful falls, and then i went to our new place to work on making it our 'home' - it is already well on its way and this makes me happy. there is still much to be done, but i look around and so much has already been accomplished that the laundry list ahead of me does not matter... well maybe a little anxiety, but all in all, i am extremely happy.
ecstatic, this terrific day was ended with some snacks and drinks with a friend who has become like a big brother to me, and someone i would do anything for = perfect end to the perfect day!
due to a late night i decided to spoil myself and slept in sunday - something i rarely do. it felt pretty amazing if i do say so myself lol i highly recommend everyone do it every now and then.
after waking up i went back to unpacking and cleaning, back to trying to keep myself busy. while doing this i made the realization that i have way too many dishes, linens and towels - i feel like i have been doing laundry and washing dishes for an enternity (after this weekend) ah well, it is what it is, and i guess i should be thankful rather then complain ;o) so, i did my thing around our new home and then called it a night knowing i wanted to get up in the morning and go for another hike before heading back to the denver area for two days/doc appt. and what do you know; beautiful sunny morning today - could not have asked for a more perfect morning to go hike by myself! a-n-d let me just say my awesome solo hike set the tone for the rest of the day. i got more done around the house. i walked around town, filled out a couple of job applications, handed out my resume, and even gave out some of my business cards - all of this topped by getting a few minutes of face time with an old friend who i have missed dearly = happy sam.
now i will not mention that when i got to denver i was miserable due to the heat and traffic, meh. we will ignore that and focus on all the positives of the day for that is what will keep this smile on my face - why turn it upside down?
no answer? good, because there is no reason to ever want to frown, so keep on focusing on the positives and keep on smiling!
my positives: getting back to the mountains to do more hikes and be in nature with my loved ones.
what are your positives that you will focus on? what will be your reason to smile? or will you just smile simply because that makes you happy?
either way, choose a smile over a frown :o)
until next time
love & strength to all


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