Crash!

I wish there was a way for people who don't have Bipolar disorder understand what we go through...
The cycling. The highs. The lows. The mixed states. The crashes. The insomnia, or flip side, hypersomnia. The fatigue. The frustration. The anxiety. The physical side effects. The struggle.
Bipolar disorder is BS!!!
It's not easy for us. And it's not easy for those in our lives.
Even when we get our disorder under control, it takes control at times - no matter how well we cope.
And what's worse? It will never go away. There is no cure.
Days like today when my depression & anxiety is battling me for control, I truly still have thoughts about giving up. It's freaking exhausting!!! But I know that will only bring more problems, and if I chose to end the pain, only bring tremendous pain to those I love - even if I think they would be better off without me.
I am thankful for having gone through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy as I wouldn't be able to be present & mindful if I hadn't. I probably would still be a cutter and still attempt to take my life. So I am reminded how far I have come, and that while today feels like it is crushing me, giving up is not the answer.
So I will hide today. And tomorrow I will force myself to get some fresh air & exercise. And to all of you going through, or go through the same:
You are not alone!!!
Please do NOT give up!!!
Take today off and try again tomorrow ♡ if needed, take 2 days off ♡ but it won't get better if we don't continue to fight.
Keep on keeping on friends ♡
Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.

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