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Showing posts from December, 2015

One more twist and turn...

What do you say when the person you are in love with tells you they should not have come back after your last episode? How are you supposed to feel?
...I feel heart broken. But there is no surprise. How can I blame him?
Since I owned the episode that made me realize there is more to my mental illness then I had realized previously we had another mini episode... the man I love has been drunk since the "original" episode, and due to this another came on... though I did manage to gain control this time... once again scary, but I fought like hell for control of my mind this time and it worked :-) anyhoo, He has made continual selfish chocies since. And then revealed much to me tonight while drinking yet again.
Our demons trigger one and another. But our experiences and acceptance of our own issues allows us to love each other like others can not... but the cost is that while we figure this (all) out we are making our own struggles, and in turn our relationship struggles more di…

Mmm French Toast

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Had a craving today for French Toast, and couldn't find my recipe (and somehow couldn't remember the very simple recipe lmao), so I went to Pinterest ;-) Below you find the recipe and pics :-) I used my bacon grease from cooking bacon rather then use butter to cook the French Toast.
As well, ground up some Simple Bites Fruit, Seed & Nut Clusters and sprinkled on sides of toast before cooking.
Little powdered sugar & cluster sprinkle, and side of peaches to finish it off.
Oh and pure maple syrup :-)I used gluten free cinnamon raisin bread for my french toast, while I used wheat for my boyfriend. Enjoy!Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.

Rudy's Moisturizing Skin Cleanser & Scrub

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I made this just for my dad :-) and his name is Rudy - hence the name of the cleanser ;-) What do you get the man whom has everything he wants (that I can afford lol)?My dad suffers from adult acne. Not bad. But he has break outs that bug him. Annnd since I have been trying to convince him to switch to Non Toxic Products I decided to make him an All Natural & Non Toxic Face Cleanser for Christmas. (I also made salt dough ornaments and am giving him one of those as well. My parents love getting new ornaments every year.) I started by researching recipes on Pinterest ;-) And here is the recipe I came up with:Equal Parts:
(Organic) Coconut Oil
Sugar
Baking Soda
Optional, Add desired amount of: Ava Anderson Non Toxic Hand & Body Cream (added moisture and contains ingredients like Medica Limonum (Lemon) Essential Oil which is great for cleansing)
Mix together and use, and/or store remains.
Suggestion: I would refrigerate if not using on a regular basis - especially if it's war…

New Years... 2016... !?!

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I feel like just yesterday it was Christmas last year... yet here we are looking at the end of 2015, and 2016 is peaking at us from around the corner.


My 2015, like most of my last 35 years, was a roller coaster ride - to say the least. We have grown, but we have also taken steps backwards... We have found love, and we have lost love... there have been phenomenally happy times, and extremely sad times... easy times, and times it took every bit of effort just to take our next breath... 2015 was Life. 2015 was also highly educational for us. I have continued educating myself and my loved ones about healthy living; diet, exercise, whole food nutrition, and more recently, non toxic living... just wish my anxiety was not so that I have not been able to share the healthy & non toxic living message more. Oh I know I share it plenty here, but out in the real world, face to face, m anxieties stop me dead in my tracks more times then I would like to admit. (Do not get me wrong, I have d…

Salt Dough Ornaments

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Decided to have my son make some ornaments as part of a Mason Jar Gift we are making for his Dad & Step Mum, and thought we would share the recipe we used.

Alrighty, the recipe:


* You can add 1 tbsp Cinnamon/Nutmeg/Clove for Scent, and Food Dyes for Color * Mix well, and then roll out to make ornament shapes - whether cut by hand or by cookie cutter * If doing foot prints it is recommended that you do print directly on baking sheet - silicone baking sheet liners are recommended also * Make sure to make hole for ribbon, rope, or similar before baking ornaments * Bake at 200 degrees for 2 - 3 hours (Make sure they are dry all the way through before taking out of oven or they could curl up on you) * Let cool for a couple of hours and then they are ready to paint & decorate :-) * Use Ribbon, Twine, or similar to hang Ornaments

Keep for yourself or give as gifts :-D
*** WARNING FOR PET OWNERS: Salt Dough is Toxic for Dogs/Pets (due to high salt count)! PLEASE Keep out of rea…

"Mason Jar" Gift

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Things are tight financially for us, but I wanted to try and send my son with gifts for his paternal family for their Christmas together. Thankfully I had some Ava Anderson Non Toxic Products, a few random product samples from Whole Foods, school pictures of my son, ingredients to make salt dough ornaments, among other items. For his Grams & Pop Pop - School picture, a star salt dough ornament we made and my son painted, and an Ava Anderson Non Toxic Lavender Candle.For his Sister - fun print nail file, pink bath poof, and Ava Anderson Non Toxic Candy Cane Body Scrub.For his Dad & Step Mom - School picture, star salt dough ornament my son painted, a salt dough hand print, and a "Mason Jar Gift" we made.
Inside the gift jar we put: bamboo comb, loofa, foot cream, lotion, facial toner, face lotion, and coupons we printed.We used a glass jar I had already cleaned out and off. I used scrap paper and spray adhesive for the lid, and then 2 stickers for decoration. A little…

I have been playing with Fotor hehehe

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I just love using Fotor.com!!!!!!!!!! :-D

Creative outlets are one of my hobbies and also one of my ways of coping... since returning home form dinner with my son and parents, I got a tad hyper focused and created these fun little images... hehehe ;-)





Feel free to steal these images :-D
Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.

I could choose to show the pain...

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I could choose to outwardly/publicly show how much pain I feel emotionally, mentally, and physically... but if I'm not going to end my life I can't be so selfish as to wallow in that pain and in turn cause more pain to self, and (more importantly) my loved ones. So today I appear to be doing much better to those around me... but inwardly not much of the pain has been alleviated. Just enough weight has been lifted that I can pull myself up on my own two feet and take some baby steps towards getting healthier again. I am still struggling with feelings that tell me all would be better off if only someone would lock me away... Deep breaths. ♡
Though exhausted and ready for the end most of the day, I know giving up is not the answer... no matter what my sick brain keeps telling me... Just have to keep on keepin' on... that's all we can do. Until next time folks,
Live. Laugh. Love.

Pull up a chair...

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Pull up a chair... let me help you start your Non Toxic Journey.
Let's talk Ingredients. Let's talk Health. Let's talk Non Toxic.
...Please never feel if we talk shop that you have some kind of commitment to buy, join or similar. I truly just want to educate others as Ava Anderson Non Toxic has educated me, share the Non Toxic Message, and in turn help my loved ones & the planet be healthier.  Message me :-) Until next time, Live. Laugh. Love.

You know you're loved when...

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...someone goes through a major mental illness episode with another and is able to take a step back and say to you, "I know that wasn't you. And I love you!" I am still struggling with my mental illness revealing itself to me in a new light... still struggling with shame, embarrassment, and back steps in self acceptance, love & respect... still struggling with what seems to be a protective and primal "alter me"... and still think it would be best to hide myself so I can't hurt anyone anymore... But instead of hiding there is lots of conversation on what to do now, how to help me, and support from the people I hurt most; my loved ones... they give me strength to take another deep breath and keep going. I dont think I can ever express in words how thankful I am for everyone who has ever been support for me when my mental illness (and/or physical conditions) make life difficult for all. And right now, as it would be so easy for him to run away and neve…

Like another person

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The other night my Bipolar alter came out... there is a person within me that comes out when I feel highly threatened, hurt or similar... IT attacks violently... and acts much like a hurt child... very primal in a way...
The other night when my boyfriend told me some news that was "the straw that broke the camels back", my alter came out, and the episode was not pretty...
This is the first time I am truly able to remember what IT felt like... and for my normal self, IT was like watching and having no control over what I was doing... Like someone else was in control of my body... IT was like watching a film someone made of me... or maybe like being in a dream; I should say, nightmare... I was not in control... IT was not me.. IT was and is scary as hell to me, and those around me. My parents have always told me when these episodes happen IT's like another person and the me they know is gone. I now know what they mean. I have truly met IT now.
In the last 24 hours I have …

Christmas Wish List

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Honey, Oat, Seed & Fruit Bread

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Recipe time :-) Blend until smooth:
1/2 softened butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
Blend in:
2 eggs
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup (butter)milk
3 Oz (cinnamon) apple sauce Chop:
Oat, Seed, Nut & Fruit Clusters - 1 1/2 cups chopped/ground In a separate bowl mix:
2 cups (gluten free) flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp cinnamon
1/3 cup Juice Plus+ Chocolate Complete Shake Mix
Mix in chopped oat, seed, nut, fruit Mix together flour mixture and egg mixture until blended thoroughly.
Add 1/2 cup raisins Pre heat oven to 350 degrees
Prepare baking pan and pour mix into pan. Spread evenly.
Bake for 30 minutes. Enjoy! :-D
Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.

She's a little bipolar...

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Crazy Sexy Mascara Smackdown!

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See whom is at the top of that list? ;-)
Have any questions? I am here to answer them!

If you do not use one these products, share with me the product you do use and I will provide you with an ingredient review. It is so important to know your ingredients. Our skin absorbs what we put on it within a matter of 26 seconds, and all of it goes straight to our blood stream - no filter!

Think about the average women's routine before going out...
Hair Products, Skin Care, Beauty Products, Deodorant, Perfume, Lotions, etc.
How many toxic ingredients do you think the average women puts on her skin during this routine?
160+! That is a ton of harmful ingredients going straight into our blood stream, and then on to our fat cells, endocrine system, and the like!

Want to know more?
Let's chat!

Until next time folks,
Live. Laugh. Love.


All Ava Anderson Non Toxic Products are Gluten Free, Vegan, Cruelty Free, and Non Toxic.


Infographic from krisscarr.com

Political Venting

A few things I have to get off my chest...

* taxes - we need taxes people! accept it and stop screaming about taxes being such a horrible thing. tax dollars pay for a wide array of tings from public schools, to prisons, to social programs, to infrastructure, public servants such as our police forces, and the like.
* abortion - we need legalized abortions to stop back alley abortions and the consequences from those, for medical necessity, among other reasons.
* national health care - there is a reason we are the only country without it and why we have the most expensive health care in the world = greed of private insurance companies, private hospitals, pharmaceutical companies, never mind the fact we can not afford our care, don't pay our medical bills and leave the bill for taxes to foot. (another reason we need tax dollars) free market does not work when it comes to health care. everyone deserves health care. period. and a free market does not allow for all to afford health car…

Balance

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this will be short and sweet...

Balance.
Why is it so hard for humans to find balance?
It is all or nothing for us... and that is not how life works in reality people. Just like life is not black and white; there is always grey area.

Stop.
Take a deep breath.
Get present.
Get mindful.
Is your opinion the only one that matters?
Are your beliefs the only beliefs that matter?
Is your life the only life that matters or your loved ones lives the only lives that matters?
No!

Remember this next time you think it is your way or the highway. It is a process I have to go through everyday, multiple times day ;-)

With the political environment, comments and posts I see, and things I deal with everyday, thought we could all use a reminder, or in some cases a wake up call.

....and I lost my train of thought ;-)

All we really need to take from this is,
Balance is the key to life.
Until next time folks,
Live. Laugh. Love.



Cowspiracy: my thoughts and questions

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My eye are opened after watching this movie, but I am left with a lot of thoughts and questions.

One thing this movie promotes is going to an all plant based diet.
If we switch to all plant based diet we will now need to switch all of our current agriculture over to farming. Farming also requires water. With fruits and vegetables we have pest concerns, as well as issue like salmonella - just like with animal agriculture... so how would it be sustainable to go completely to farming? The impact on the land would not be there, but there are other concerns with pure farming that this documentary and the people involved are ignoring.

Balanced Diet.
Science has proven we need a balanced diet, and that a balanced diet includes animal proteins.
Science has also shown us that human biology thrives from animal proteins - in moderation. Just like anything, moderation is key.

A quote from this movie states that it is not only Cows/Animal Agriculture that is having a negative impact in the envi…

Guns.

Another heated subject, Guns.I do not feel they should be illegal. I do feel we need more effective laws and regulations. This does not mean I want more laws and regulations - I want effective laws and regulations. One thing I truly believe is that no felon should be allowed to purchase weapons.
Also I believe in Mental Health evaluations - if we need one to face trial, we for sure need one to buy a gun. Many out there should not be allowed to own a gun. And not necessarily because they are mentally ill. Because of how they view weapons, human life, vengeance and the like.
I believe in the registry.
I believe that there should be home checks for parents that are registered gun owners. A lot of school shootings have been due to unlocked gun cabinets (or similar) in homes.
I believe assault rifles, guns, bullets etc that truly only need to be used in war should not be legal for retail consumers.
I believe the government should shift efforts from their war on drugs to a war on weapo…

Abortion.

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The dreaded "A" word these days... Abortion is a heated topic. My views on it...
Personally it is not for me.
I had a miscarriage at 18. And a beautiful son at 23.
With that said, I am Pro Choice.
I know many people whom chose Abortion. It was the best choice for them, and for baby.
For those thinking, "not for baby", this is what I say to you.
Say every women whom had an abortion went full term with the pregnancy and had a baby. This baby now goes into the adoption system.
Do you know how many children already need to be adopted?!?!? And not just here in the United States, but internationally?
Do you know what the foster care system is like?!?!?
Are you going to adopt all the babies that come from unwanted pragnancies?!?!?
And are you going to take responsibility for the deaths of the women who die because they go through illegal abortions once Pro Life advocates get their way?!?!?Whether Pro Life advocates like it or not, Abortions will continue to happen. Th…

Shootings... Terrorism... What can we do?

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Is there really a difference between the actions of groups like ISIS and the 353 mass shootings we have had in the U.S. during 2015??? Some will say there is due to the numbers and scale of violence.
Myself and others say there is no difference. All of this violence boils down to the same thing:People or Groups not able to accept others and/or situations for what they are. For those who follow my blog I am sure you are laughing to yourself and thinking, "here she goes with Acceptance again." And they would be right ;-) Acceptance is the basis of peace - Internally and Externally. Simple in idea. Not always an easy practice. Something that I truly believe in,
If we all learned to truly Accept, Love, and Respect Our Selves, in turn we would learn how to Accept, Love, and Respect Others ♡
The reason I believe in this?
It has worked for me :-)
Not an easy process. And sometimes I have to repeat it with myself and others numerous times in one day. But so long as I practice this…