10 Days In...

Here we are. January 10th, 2016 already... already 10 Days in... :-/ :-P ;-)

I am realizing my depression is worse then I thought... and of course mix rapid cycling in and we have fun times ugh

Insomnia, and now Hypersomnia also
Lack of Motivation to get things done I know need to be done
No passion for my hobbies... I can't paint or create...
Lashed out when I drank other night (went out for food with a friend... had drinks... met up with the boyfriend and landed up (according to him) trying to hit him over him simply asking I don't drive... why is it my anger/sadness/frustration/issues in my waking or sober life come out in a blacked out - violent alter Sam when I drink???)

Ugh so I am back to making the choice not to drink at all, again.
Today I am going to force myself to get this list of phone calls made so I can finally get my knee injury figured out.
As well I will make sure to take my Whole Food Nutrition Capsules and my Vitamin D.
Already today I forced myself to take care of business matters for Ava Anderson Non Toxic : set up an avaHOUR, thanked a new customer for her order and choosing Non Toxic Living, paid for my website, did some reading, and did some social media marketing. Still have more I need to do, but I am prioritizing... and obviously blogging is one of my priorities ;-)
(Blogging is therapeutic for me... and has been a part of my treatment plan since going through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.)
Today I also need to make sure to eat healthy... drink more water... get dressed (still in pj's lol)... brush my teeth... the usual stuff a "normal" person would have accomplished by now - 12:30 pm on a Monday :-/  (It is what it is - judging myself won't help. I just need to motivate and not ruminate.)

Day to day we never know what to expect from me and my mental & physical illnesses. Yes the healthier I am the more stable all illnesses, disorders, and the like are. But they are always there in varying degrees. My life journey is very much a roller coaster ride due to trying to figure out the balancing act that keeps my health relatively stable while at the same time allowing me to enjoy, and actually live (and love) life. It will never be easy. This is something I have accepted about myself, the ride that has been my life, and the journey ahead.

So today is another baby step towards getting back to a healthier me, or what I like to call, Total Health :-) ;-)

I must part so I can actually get out of pj's haha so until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love. :-) ♡

Update ;-)
Got my phone list done (minus one call)
Ate. Took my Whole Food Nutrition Capsules and Vitamin D. And I have started some laundry and got the living room vacuumed :-D ...still in my pajamas, but about to change that and brush my teeth ;-)
Deep breaths. Baby steps. ♡


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