Things have calmed down a bit since I last owned my story here... and we are choosing love and our relationship even though the last 11 months have been one hell of a roller coaster ride.
Making this choice was not easy for either of us. We both looked at each other and asked the question, "Just because we are in love, are we healthy for each other?" We choose to find out rather then call it quits.
Will this be easy?
No. It never will be.
I have rapid cycling bipolar 1 disorder.
He has depression issues and needs to learn how to cope rather then trying to drink his problems, feelings and emotions away.
And we have my kiddo that has his own battles, nevermind loving the two of us.
But the three of us together are choosing to fight for our little family.
(With everything that has gone in the last year I have realized a few things about my mental & physical health:
No matter what anyone says about my diet and health choices I need to stick to my guns, and routine, or my mental and physical health suffer the consequences.
Over the last year I let some of my healthy habits slip... I improved on some problem areas (like drinking), but faltered in the diet & exercise departments. Both of which can either positively or negatively effect my mental and physical health; we have seen how allowing myself to fall of the healthy band wagon has been detrimental to my mental health in the last year. I went from relatively stable considering my diagnosis (cycling a few times a month), to extreme rapid cycling (cycling multiple times within a day). It was not just the stress in my life that caused this downward spiral. It was also my lack of will power and in turn inability to stick with the healthy habits I know keep my mental & physical illnesses manageable.)
...So we choose love. We choose us. We choose to continue trying to help each other grow, and to challenge one and another to be the best versions of ourselves possible. To not only be lovers, but best friends no matter how much we dislike eachother at times.
...is that not what love is about?
Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.