The last month
When I last owned my story with all of you I was committed to working on myself...
This has not changed, but much has transpired since I last shared.
My commitment has faltered, but not completely. I'd like to believe the reason is more insurance issues needing ironing than my lack of effectiveness, but that would be naive. And I would be lying to myself, and you.
One big thing that happened this past month was (receiving) a call informing me that my boyfriend had been missing (for 7 hours) after leaving one city for a county not even two hours away. With no word after 8 hours we were contacting anyone we could think of... noon the next day he contacted me.
Fast forward; he has (or I should say, we have) gone through detox again, he is now back home to work on himself and to be with family, is still sober (3 weeks now), and he is no longer my ex.
As for me and my health; I have been trying to get my mental health services set up through Kaiser Permanente as I recently re-signed with KP (with the opening of their new location in the County). Unfortunately, due to this I haven't been to therapy in 3 weeks, but plan to attend AA Meetings this week with a friend in lieu of therapy. (With signing back on with KP, we want my mental health services to be through KP so they have access to all of my files etc.)
Oh! That's another step - AA. And this past week I decided (again) to quit drinking & smoking (fingers crossed - have had to restart my efforts with cigarettes, but am 3 days + without alcohol). To help my efforts (especially long term; with my form of alcoholism - a Binge Drinker - it is "easy" for me to go weeks to a month without drinking. The hard part for me is remembering why I do not want to drink and that 99% of the time am not capable of having just a drink or two), I downloaded a Sobriety Counter for my phone. I decided to try and use Sobriety Time. It is time for me to stop being self defeating & destructive. (I know, you have heard this from me before... but such is my journey.) And it's time to realize I'm not stronger than my addictions. No matter how hard a pill to swallow.
...While swallowing the fore mentioned pill ;-) a friend contacted me saying she required help to quit drinking... 48 hours clean; Outwardly doing better than I have seen (as an example) my boyfriend during his second day of withdrawals/detox, but then... I finished paying for items in a convenience store, turned to leave and called to my friend. With no reply from her, I realized something was wrong. I began looking around the store, and found her on the ground seizing. (So thankful for the store clerk who remained calm, called 911 for me, and helped her/us!!!) An ambulance ride to the ER, many tests and 3 hours later, we were on our way home... I can only hope that she decides to no longer drink... we are supposed to start AA Meetings this week...
Alcohol is one hell of a dirty beast!
Welp, I think that's the short story version...