Showing posts from October, 2016

The Guest House

The Guest HouseThis being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Jelaluddin Rumi,
Translation from The Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks

Let Sunday be a Fun Day

Yesterday I had dreams of getting up early today, and having the gang on the road by 9 am to head somewhere fun for the day... it is now 9:53 and I am still trying to organize the gang... meh
* Deep Belly Breathing *
"Let. It. Go. Sam. It is ok. It is just one day. Just pick something closer. You can do a big day trip another day. It is ok. You are ok. Everyone is ok."
This is what I am telling myself, and all of my parts and their varying emotions.
Parts of me are mad.
Parts of me are sad, let down, frustrated.
Other parts are indifferent.
And then there is my grounding part that is talking all the other parts through their emotions.
* Deep Belly Breathing *
Name 3 things I See.
Name 3 things I Feel.
Name 3 things I Taste.
Name 3 things I Hear.
* Deep Belly Breathing *
Feeling better, phew! Now to remember to breath, acknowledge, accept, and do my best to stay present & mindful so as that I can continue to cope effectively today. * Deep Belly Breath * Time to m…

Sometimes Apologies Are Needed

My message to my best friend, and all of my loved ones,
"Been doing a lot of work in therapy and have realized how opinionated I have become, and that I can come across as high & mighty, bitchy, condescending, and similar. I want to apologize to you guys for ever being rude due to this. We are working on my dissociative parts/disorder and that personality is a difficult one, and it saddens me that it has hurt, angered, or upset anyone.'s scary and sad learning more about myself, but it's necessary. Thank you for standing by me through all of it. xoxo you'll never know how much I appreciate you!"
It's a humbling process, but it's also a growing process.
Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.
p.s. due to how intense this process is, and how upset some of my "parts" are, I can not own 100% of my story with you - for now. I am going to keep a journal, and down the road, with my therapists help, we may publish my full story down the road. …

The Spirit of Gardening

Found a website today that I am really enjoying, and thought I would share with all of you:
The Spirit of Gardening: Gardening Quotes, Sayings, Poems, Resources, Quotations, Quips, Lore, WisdomDo you have any websites you recommend?


Ratatouille for dinner tonight!
My Nana used to make Ratatouille for my mother.  I am so thankful that my Nana instilled a love of baking & cooking in me, and I miss her and my grandpa so very much. ...I did not appreciate them enough as a child, but hindsight is 20/20. Make sure to take time to appreciate all in your life. You never know when the good (currently) in your life will be gone. ❤

What is your favorite Ratatouille recipe? I would love for you to share, and would love to try your recipe! We are going to use the Joy Of Cooking Cookbook for our base recipe. From there we can tinker with it. My mum and I do not know where my Nana's recipe went... betting my Aunt has it haha 

Ratatouille from The Joy of Cooking by Irma S. Rombauer 1/4 cup olive oil 1 lb eggplant, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes 1 lb zucchini, cut into 1-inch cubes 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 1/2 cups onions, sliced 2 large red bell peppers, cut into 1-inch squares 3 garlic cloves, chopped salt & fresh ground …

As A Women I Can't Keep Quiet

Michelle Obama put it better than I ever could. If you have not seen her speech, please take the time to watch this: Ignore the campaigning for Hillary and listen to everything else. If you do not feel this speech in your heart, if it does not tug at your emotions, if it does not make you think, in my small opinion, I am scared for us.
In regards to Trump: People who say there is no evidence of Trump sexually harassing, and/or assaulting women;  I have no evidence of any of the trauma that has happened to me. Should I not be believed? People with the above thought process are why abuse victims don't come forward, and why victims live in/with shame for the rest of their lives, and sadly for some (like myself), the shame is the least of the post-trauma health problems.

Mania Word Vomit

Today we are at an all day Lacrosse Jamboree for my son; I am here alone.
On the way I was worried my anxiety would have me by myself all day, but what do you know, mania is here, so the piece of my personality that is more than willing to tell my entire life story has come out to play today... ugh.
While I'm glad to meet and talk to the other team parents, I'm not overly happy with how I talk to them.
Let me try to explain...
For starters, once I get to talking, it's like I have no control from that point over what I am going to say. Thankfully, my personality that comes out in these type of situations is my "therapist", but it's still mentally & emotionally stressful for me, and at the end of the day exhausting.
I tell too much, give too much opinion - Mania Word Vomit - and  then land up second guessing everything I have said, and in turn, am unhappy with myself and cause myself more anxiety over what I might "vomit" next.
It's a viciou…

Benefits of Diffusing Essential Oils

From WebMd (as I'm not a medical professional, holistic practitioner, and/or the like): Aromatherapy and Essential Oils (PDQ®): Complementary and alternative medicine - Patient Information [NCI] - Questions and Answers About Aromatherapy
What is aromatherapy?
Aromatherapy is the use of essential oils from plants to support and balance the mind, body, and spirit. It is used by patients with cancer mainly as a form of supportive care that may improve quality of life and reduce stress and anxiety. Aromatherapy may be combined with other complementary treatments like massage therapy and acupuncture, as well as with standard treatments. Essential oils (also known as volatile oils) are the basic materials of aromatherapy. They are made from fragrant essences found in many plants. These essences are made in special plant cells, often under the surface of leaves, bark, or peel, using energy from the sun and elements from the air, soil, and water. If the plant is crushed, the essence and…

Morning Routine

Do you have a morning routine?
I am working on establishing a healthy morning routine. There was a time I was effective and had a healthy morning routine, but those days have faded like a sun setting. So here we are, figuring out what is most effective for me now.
As of today, my morning routine consists of the following:
• Wake up my son for school at 6 am, clean up kitchen (we are bad and don't clean dinner dishes night of lol), and have my son off to the bus by 7 am
• Make coffee (need to switch (back) to green tea; sadly, the caffeine in coffee is too stimulating for my Bipolar brain and I), medicate with cannabis, and watch CBS This Morning (my guilty morning pleasure).
• Get my vitamins organized, and when able to eat breakfast (have chronic nausea & G.I. pain in mornings), eat and take vitamins.
• Yoga (try for 5 out of 7 days; minimum of 10 minutes).
• Wash up/Shower and get dressed.
• Appointments and/or TO-DO List, and take care of my online businesses/endeavor…

Autumn Walks

“Her pleasure in the walk must arise from the exercise and the day, from the view of the last smiles of the year upon the tawny leaves and withered hedges, and from repeating to herself some few of the thousand poetical descriptions extant of autumn--that season of peculiar and inexhaustible influence on the mind of taste and tenderness--that season which has drawn from every poet worthy of being read some attempt at description, or some lines of feeling.” ― Jane AustenPersuasion
All photography is mine (Samantha Luegger/the sam-e boutique). Please contact to purchase prints. Thank you!


Do you know about Chakras?
I want to learn more! And have to as we are now using Chakra meditations as a part of my therapy. (#MyTherapistRocks!!! tehe)
My journey for information is beginning here:
"Chakras, by definition, are energy centers within the human body that help to regulate all its processes, from organ function to the immune system and emotions. We can commonly count 7 chakras positioned throughout your body, from the base of your spine to the crown of your head. Each chakra has its own vibrational frequency, that is depicted through a specific chakra color, and governs specific functions that help make you, well, human." "Let’s start with a brief definition. What is a chakra? A chakra (pronounced “cha”-“kra” with a resounding “ch”) is a center of energy. Originating from Sanskrit, it literally means “wheel” by association with its function as a vortex of spinning energy interacting with various physiological and neurological systems in the body.&…

My Vow: No More Politics

No more politics. Done. Donezo. No more. I am taking five deep belly breaths, and I'm letting go of Politics.
No more political posts. No more political comments. No more political opinion.
See or hear something political I don't like? Acknowledge the crap out of it for what it is, Accept it for what it is, and Let Go of "it".
Since this political season began I feel I have done my part trying to educate via this blog and our Facebook page, and have shared my two cents, on more than one occasion.
So today I call it quits to give myself a little peace of mind, and in turn make my journey a little easier by being a little less emotionally stressed.
(Don't worry, I can't vote due to being a Canadian living (legally) in the United States. Me not being informed going forward has not effect on outcomes this fall.)
As well, I know many of you are probably having a sigh of relief over not having to listen to my politcal rants any longer haha
So, with the end of …

Last Night's Debate

Listening to Donald Trump is grating for me, but what bothered me the most about last night's debate is this;
Why is no one bringing up the Child Rape Case against Donald Trump?!?!?
Do me a favor.
Please Google, Donald Trump Child Rape.
If he and others can use Bill Clinton's past against Hillary, why the heck is this case/accusation not being used against Trump?
This situation upsets and angers me... and no, I do not fully support the Clinton's. But I do feel Hillary is the effective choice in this election, unless you're willing to vote Stein (or Johnson). Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love. SNOPES article
Side thought... I am watching CBS This Morning, and they just showed Ivanka saying her dad has respect for women. As a women, I feel the only way you can believe Trump respects women is if you do not respect women/yourself. If Trump truly respected women, he wouldn't have made 75% or more of the comments he has (in regards to women). He calls Hillary a liar,…

Call me out, Please!

What don't you like about yourself?
I mean, REALLY don't like?
For myself, it's how opinionated I have become, and in turn, how my dissociative parts deal with conversations, situations and the like that go against my/their opinions and/or beliefs. ...Let's put this as nicely as possible... I don't want to be a b!tch anymore!
This may sound crazy, calling myself a b!tch, but it's reality as I really can be high & mighty, condescending, rude, bitchy, and similar negative, descriptive verbs.
It hasn't always been this way, which makes this attitude bother me more.
Bit of a back story...
I used to be painfully shy & quiet! Painfully is not being dramatic; as an example, elementary school teachers would yell at me for being too quiet, and I was bullied by kids. As a teen, it meant I didn't stand up for myself and allowed things to happen to me that are partly why I have dissociative disorder. And as an adult, I landed up in a 5 year abusive relat…

Comparison: Bath & Body Works VS Pure Haven Essentials

OK... can I please show you a comparison so you can see what I'm really talking about all the time?

HARMFUL VS SAFE Ingredients matter. Questions? I'm here to help!

October Giveaway, and Pure Haven Cares for Kids

Pure Haven Cares for Kids:
"In 2016, Pure Haven will partner with our Consultants and customers to provide nontoxic Kids Care Kits to kids and teens in children's hospitals across the United States. Check out our blog post and learn how you can help! "

Shop during October to help us meet our Team Challenge of 100 Orders.
Use Party Code 167761 during October for a chance to WIN Free Pure Haven Essentials Product(s) from the sam-e boutique (#thesameboutique; find us on Facebook).

July through now... Catch up

Last I owned my story with all of you was back in July when my therapist gave me homework.
Report Card: welp, per the norm, sometime I was effective, other times, not so much.  The last 3 months have been a struggle for me, and in turn, those in my life.
Long story short,
Since beginning our work on my dissociative disorder, my dissociative parts have been, how do I put this... a royal pain in the ass at times! It seems, the more we work on me, the more some of my dissociative parts get upset. Example,
Early September :
One low point was landing in the hospital for suicide watch.
It was after going out, I blacked out as my dissociative identity we call "T" (as she reminds people of T from the show United States of Tara) took over, and then after "T" consumed a very large amount of alcohol (breathalyzer was over 2.0 hours after leaving bars), my violent, protector (dissociative) identity came out. (No Name for that one, yet. It only comes out once in a blue mo…

Some of my favorite shares lately

Some are funny, some serious, some inspirational, and some opinion.
Hope you enjoy! 😊
Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.