July through now... Catch up

Last I owned my story with all of you was back in July when my therapist gave me homework.
Report Card: welp, per the norm, sometime I was effective, other times, not so much. 
The last 3 months have been a struggle for me, and in turn, those in my life.
Long story short,
Since beginning our work on my dissociative disorder, my dissociative parts have been, how do I put this... a royal pain in the ass at times! It seems, the more we work on me, the more some of my dissociative parts get upset.
Early September :
One low point was landing in the hospital for suicide watch.
It was after going out, I blacked out as my dissociative identity we call "T" (as she reminds people of T from the show United States of Tara) took over, and then after "T" consumed a very large amount of alcohol (breathalyzer was over 2.0 hours after leaving bars), my violent, protector (dissociative) identity came out. (No Name for that one, yet. It only comes out once in a blue moon.) I could not tell you what happened otherwise (all I know is what I was told), but I came out of it in an ER room with a security guard stationed outside, struggling to control what part of me was in control, and on suicide watch.
That sucked!!! I felt defeated. Like a let down. Like I hit rock bottom, again. It felt like I had truly lost my mind, because, in a way, I had. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, lonely, sad, exhausted...
Little by little, day by day, with the help of loved ones and my therapist, I am picking up the pieces; rebuilding, growing, and we battle on. Why? Because I am a Warrior! And though I had, and still have thoughts of giving up (at times), a warrior never gives up. A warrior battles on, and I promise, we all have a warrior inside of us. (Dig deep and find your warrior. ❤)
With the help of my army, or in other words, my loved ones, I will win this battle, and all battles that come my way in the future; no matter how big, or how small. This warrior and her army will over come!
And with that motivational rant, I am proud to say it has been 32 days since I had a drink and 31 days since I was allowed to leave the hospital.
As well, proud to say I have been going to physical therapy, and every scheduled therapy appointment. Hiking as much as possible, with my dog (nature and pet therapy haha plus get the feel good endorphins going via exercise). Eating better, and more regularly. Taking my Whole Food Nutrition Capsules daily, as well as my other vitamins/supplements. Trying to drink more water. Started doing yoga again. Practicing lots of belly breathing. Singing in the shower (lol sounds funny, but it's something I enjoy; make time for things you enjoy, even things as simple as singing in the shower). We got an Essential Oil Diffuser and have been diffusing oils. Per my therapist, I have been taking my Trazadone RX nightly (to ensure more sleep, and it is effective bipolar anti-depressant), as well we got more of our trusty herbal OLLY Sleep Gummies. ...I think I'm forgetting a few things, but you can see the simple changes I have made to help my health. And they are helping; wouldn't lie to you.
So there you have it. The long story, short.
I promise to try and post more regularly, but I cannot allow this blog to be a source of stress for me, so apologies now just in case I am not able to share for a hot minute.
What have you been doing the last few months? I hope you all are A.O.K., or better.
Until next time,
Live. Laugh. Love.

"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower." ~ Albert Camus
I am using this autumn, this second spring, to grow 😊 I would love for you to join my journey.


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